Someone’s Replied to Your Advert. What Next?
You’ve posted your advert, somebody’s got in touch and suddenly the prospect of playing music with other people is getting real. So what happens next?
You’ve done it. You’ve put yourself out there, posted an advert on Up For A Jam and told the world you’re looking for musicians.
Then one day, a message arrives.
Maybe it’s a drummer who loves the same bands as you. Perhaps a guitarist looking for a bass player, or a singer who’s interested in getting a new band together.
Brilliant!
But now comes the next step. How do you turn that first message into an actual jam session, rehearsal or even a new band?
Don’t worry. It’s easier than you might think.
1. Start With a Friendly Conversation
You don’t need to launch straight into organising rehearsals or planning your first gig.
Start with a simple, friendly reply.
Thank them for getting in touch, ask a little about their musical background and find out what they’re hoping to do.
Something like:
“Hi, thanks for getting in touch! Great to hear from another blues fan. Have you been playing long, and are you currently in a band or looking to start something new?”
That’s all it takes to get the conversation going.
Remember, you’re not conducting a job interview. You’re chatting to somebody who enjoys making music, just like you.
2. Find Out What Music You Have in Common
You might both describe yourselves as rock musicians, but that can mean very different things.
One person’s idea of rock might be Chuck Berry and The Rolling Stones. Another might be thinking Metallica and Iron Maiden.
Neither is wrong, but you might have slightly different ideas about what you’d like to play!
Ask about favourite bands, musical influences and the sort of songs they enjoy.
It can help to suggest a handful of artists or tracks you both know.
And don’t worry if your tastes aren’t identical. Some of the most interesting musical combinations come from people bringing different influences to the rehearsal room.
The important thing is finding enough common ground to make playing together enjoyable.
3. Talk About Experience Without Making It an Audition
It’s useful to know roughly how experienced somebody is, but try not to turn the conversation into a test of their musical ability.
Perhaps they’ve been playing for thirty years and have plenty of gigging experience.
Or maybe they’ve only been learning for a year and are looking for their first opportunity to play with other people.
Both could be a great fit, depending on what you’re looking for.
Be equally honest about your own experience.
If you’re a little rusty after years away from playing, say so. If you’re still building your confidence, there’s no reason to hide it.
You might discover that the person you’re talking to feels exactly the same way.
A good attitude, enthusiasm and a willingness to learn can be just as important as technical ability.
4. Make Sure You’re Looking for the Same Thing
This is probably one of the most important conversations to have early on.
Are you both looking for casual jam sessions, or does one of you want to form a serious gigging band?
How often would you like to rehearse?
Are you interested in covers, original music or a mixture of both?
And how far are you prepared to travel?
There’s no point arranging a weekly rehearsal if one person can only manage once a month.
Equally, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to play the occasional pub gig while somebody else is happy simply making music for fun.
The trick is to find people whose expectations are reasonably similar.
A little honesty now can save an awful lot of frustration later.
5. Suggest a Few Songs
If the conversation is going well, why not suggest a few songs you could play together?
Choose something reasonably straightforward that you both enjoy.
There’s no need to tackle a complicated twenty-minute progressive rock epic on your first meeting, unless that’s your idea of fun!
Three or four familiar songs are usually enough to get started.
If you’re putting a group together, share the song choices with everybody beforehand so they have time to practise.
And if you’re planning an informal jam rather than playing complete songs, that’s fine too. Just make sure everyone knows what to expect.
The aim is to make the first session relaxed and enjoyable, not to prove who’s the best musician in the room.
6. Arrange That First Meeting
Once you’ve established that you’re on the same wavelength, it’s time to arrange a meetup.
An established rehearsal studio is often a good choice. You’ll have a suitable space to play, and some studios provide equipment such as drum kits and amplifiers.
Alternatively, you could meet for a coffee first, have a chat and see how you get along.
When meeting somebody you’ve only spoken to online, take a few sensible precautions. Choose a suitable public or established venue, arrange your own transport and let somebody know where you’re going.
There’s no need to rush into meeting at somebody’s home.
And remember to agree on the practical details beforehand, including the time, location, equipment and any rehearsal room costs.
7. Don’t Worry About Being Perfect
The first jam can feel a little nerve-racking, particularly if you haven’t played with other musicians for a while.
Will you remember the songs? Will your timing be good enough? What if you make a mistake?
Here’s a little secret: everybody makes mistakes.
Even experienced musicians occasionally forget a chord change, miss a cue or come in at completely the wrong moment.
It happens.
The important thing is how you respond.
Laugh it off, start again and enjoy the experience.
And remember to listen to the other musicians. Playing together isn’t about filling every available space with notes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave room for somebody else.
You might be surprised how quickly a group of strangers starts to sound like a band.
8. What If It Doesn’t Work Out?
Not every first jam will lead to a lasting musical partnership.
You might discover that your musical tastes are further apart than you expected, your playing styles don’t quite fit or you simply don’t click as people.
That’s perfectly normal.
There’s no need for awkward excuses or disappearing without replying.
A friendly message is usually enough:
“Thanks for getting together. I enjoyed the session, but I don’t think it’s quite the musical direction I’m looking for. Best of luck finding the right people!”
Simple, polite and respectful.
You never know when your paths might cross again, especially in local music circles.
And sometimes, even if somebody isn’t the right bandmate, they might become a good friend or introduce you to another musician.
9. When Everything Clicks
Of course, sometimes the opposite happens.
You meet up, plug in your instruments, somebody counts in the first song and suddenly everything feels right.
The drummer’s got a great groove, the guitarist knows when to hold back and everybody seems to be enjoying themselves.
Before you know it, two hours have flown by.
If that happens, don’t leave things hanging.
Have a chat afterwards, find out whether everyone enjoyed the session and suggest getting together again.
You don’t need to decide on a band name, organise a photo shoot or book your first gig just yet.
Start with another rehearsal and see how things develop.
Some great bands began with nothing more than a few musicians getting together to play songs they loved.
10. Keep Making Connections
Even if your first conversation or jam doesn’t lead anywhere, don’t be discouraged.
Finding the right musicians can take time.
Keep your advert up to date, browse other listings and don’t be afraid to contact people whose musical interests catch your eye.
You might also discover new opportunities along the way.
Perhaps you originally wanted to join a band but end up starting one yourself. Maybe a casual jam turns into a regular rehearsal, or somebody introduces you to a whole new style of music.
That’s part of the fun.
The more people you meet, the more possibilities open up.
Ready for That First Jam?
Getting a reply to your advert is an exciting first step.
But you don’t need to have everything planned out.
Start with a conversation, find out what you’ve got in common and take things from there.
Be friendly, be honest about what you’re looking for and remember that making music should be enjoyable.
And if the first person you meet isn’t quite the right fit, don’t give up.
Your next bandmate might be only one message away.
That’s what Up For A Jam is all about: helping musicians find each other, make connections and enjoy playing music together.
Find people. Start a band. Play some gigs.